Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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