At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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