if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
