I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
