Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
