Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
