haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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