Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
