sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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