i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
