Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
