Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
