So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
