I think i peed on brittanys purse
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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