You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
