dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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