she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
