We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
