Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
