Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
