Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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