maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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