hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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