pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
