Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
