he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
