too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
