Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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