yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
