To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
