I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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