i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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