yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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