So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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