WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
