evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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