She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
