It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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