Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
