they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
