he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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