I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
