Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
