Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
