dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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