I just saw a hot homeless man
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
