nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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