After last night, I could never be a politician.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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