I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
