Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
