a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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