my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
