I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
