If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
