DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Randomize
