I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
