when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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