she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
