how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
