it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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