i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize