so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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