I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
