Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
